Latest Running Recap

Rain played a major part of shaping my weekend. Saturday morning's long run was pre-empted by a torrential downpour, thunder and more importantly lightening. I would have been fine to run in the rain, but I was not so keen on getting sizzled by lightening! A & I hung out in Sbux with a bunch of other rained out runners waiting/hoping the storm would pass quickly so we could still get in our run.

We went Sunday morning instead and probably got as soaked (in sweat) as we would have gotten had we ran in the rain on Saturday. If you're in Michigan, you know of this opressive heat/humidity combo of which I type! Make one move and you're instantly sweaty. We struggled through nearly 8 miles. I don't use the word struggle lightly. It was gross.

I have a 1/2 marathon coming up on Saturday and I'm a little bit nervous about how it's going to play out. I haven't been as gung ho about my training for this race as others. Perhaps I've hit a summer training slump?! As best as I can tell, Saturday's course has hills and a bit of trail running. Oi vey! I just hope it's a cool morning, so I can actually breath while I make my way through the course. Just looking to finish injury free and hope to actually enjoy the race.

This week's schedule looks pretty light, just to keep things from siezing up. The taper week before a long race always mystifies me. I know I can run the distance, but always think I should do more. The tapering actually helps the body prepare for what's ahead...it's really all beyond my control now! I'll just keep eating carbs and hope for the best.

i have green eyes.

envy.



it's one of those feelings that just comes up unexpectedly. i don't think anyone sets out to wish they had what someone else has, be it be possessions, status, abilities, or to experience what someone else gets to experience. it comes from a feeling that you're somehow getting shortchanged, that your abilities are going unnoticed or unappreciated, that the spotlight is not shining on you.



something recently has made my natural green eyes greener and i was not happy with the feeling. that's not who i want to be. my way of working through it was joking around, making fun and taking playful jabs, but afterward i felt like my true feelings were too thinly veiled and i was being a complete bitch.



in order to work through it and move beyond feeling envy, i focused on gratitude. focusing on all the things i do have. all the ways in which i've been blessed. as with most feelings, i knew the envy would fade. it was my ego saying "i want mine...", to which i said, you've got yours beyond what anyone can even see. if you still want more, work harder for it. make your own spotlight. create your own opportunity.



another thing i've thought about...whenever you actually do end up getting that thing you've coveted, it's often not as amazing as you built it up to be. i remember wanting white leather tennis shoes when i was in 6th or 7th grade because a couple of the more popular girls had them. i finally got them and the inevitable happened. i slipped my middle school feet into them and somehow they no longer seemed as cool. they weren't me. today, i think, "what were you thinking? white tennis shoes? nikes? really?! " recently, i've seen boys pull this look off successfully, but its white adidas with fitted jeans. boys. not girls. i guess that's a fashion post for another time!


crazy feelings. sometimes it would be nice if we could just shake them off, but feel them we must until we've worked out whatever it is we need to discover about ourselves. big or small, the discovery usually helps the next time an uncomfortable feeling appears out of nowhere.

bullets

this week i:

• had a dream i was in a triathalon with my new bike. i was going soo fast. it was awesome.

• actually was riding so fast on the wednesday night bike ride and it was awesome to be flying down butterworth with a bunch of bikers behind me.

• saw a tiny baby bunny on one of my runs. i wanted to scoop it up and carry it home and feed it carrots.

• took one day off of running since i'm experiencing what i can only imagine is training burn out. i just didn't want to go. was feeling fine. i honored my not wanting to go and got back at it the next day. still feeling a little "meh" about training, but i'm just going with the flow. next race is a 1/2 marathon on August 15.

• saw a man mowing his lawn wearing only a speedo and a straw hat.

• made two actual dinners! delish pizza with garlic/olive oil for sauce, red pepper, artichokes and black olives last night. tuesday night was burrito night, complete with guacamole!

• have been looking forward to the grand rapids electronic music festival tomorrow night on Rosa Parks Circle.

• thought of a fun book idea earlier in the week. the fact that i'm still thinking about it so many days later is a sign i should flesh it out and see how the story materializes.

on friends and gratitude

Late last night R & I picked up my friend A from the airport. Her flights got all screwy, which meant she was coming in a lot later than she thought she would. I was the back up plan and was happy to be able to act as airport shuttle, even though it was about my bed time. These are the things we do for friends.

There are other little and quite monumental things we do for friends. I must say I've got two pretty awesome friends in A & R.

The two people I shared the car with last night witnessed one of my all-time embarrassing moments. While I've had conversations with both of them in which I've painfully relived the moment, this was the first time we were all in the same place and it was briefly discussed. Laughter ensued. It's a lot less cringe worthy now, although I doubt it will ever be a cringe-free memory. The three of us are bonded for life in this really odd way. I'm grateful that they're both so cool and made me feel like I wasn't the biggest reject ever for what happened. Oh, and don't even ask what it was. Now that I've had my own in real life postsecret moment, there's absolutely no need to say more.

True friends. We witness each other's lives, reflecting back the goodness. Hoping for the best, there for each other if it's the worst. We can laugh. We can cry. We can be ourselves with the people we call true friends. I am blessed to have such amazing friends in my life, I am thankful for each and every one of you.

hot/not

since it's been a while...

hot: getting flowers for no particular reason.

not: seeing two exes in a span of 24 hours.

hot: knowing that i'm far happier today without either of them. and managing to not talk to or make eye contact with either of them.

hot: having a whole world of bikes to choose from as i shop for a new one.

not: having a whole world of bikes to choose from. i'm a little overwhelmed and just want my bike back!

hot: homemade chocolate cake and buttercream frosting.

hot: talking about something earlier in the day and then having someone or something come across your path that directly relates to what you were talking about. happened on saturday. had been talking about wanting to learn how to remix music, sequence beats, etc and later on that evening someone i met does just what i want to learn and is willing to show me a few things.

hot: being "taken", not single, in a relationship, someone's girlfriend. wow!

not: feeling like i have ADD sometimes.

hot: having great friends that fill my life and social calendar with fun things to do.

not: having so much fun that some of the "getting my life in order" stuff falls by the wayside requiring me to play catch up on all that stuff.

hot: having vegetarian burritos at two different local authentic mexican places over the weekend. maggie's kitchen on saturday. sunday was a place on burton that gives maggie's a very close run for the burrito money.

not: having to play "don't ask don't tell" about whether or not the beans in these tasty burritos contained lard.

hot: having someone to do the NYC Century Ride with in September.

not: not knowing if i'll find a bike in time. and not wanting to settle just so i have a bike.

hot: vacation time.

not: having to hope that the weather will be hot enough to properly enjoy the beach.

delish dish

I've made eggrolls before. See:

I was over at my friend M's house last night while our other friend was finishing up making her own eggrolls. I didn't get to have any because they were meat containers - but what I did get to have was oh so delicious.  We took snickers and wrapped it up in the egg roll wrapper and threw the package into the deep fryer! OMG! Sinfully delicious.

My take away from last night's experience: a yen to make my own egg rolls again AND to try frying them! The last time I made mine, I baked them, which was probably more healthy, but I somehow don't think a candy bar baked in an eggroll wrapper will come out the same as if it were fried, so I might as well fry up the egg rolls too!

What's for dinner? I wish I had that plate of egg rolls right now!

Full Moon?

When shit has gone all sideways and out of control, I often ask, "is it a full moon or something?" Well, kittens, today has already had all kinds of sideways, crazy, heart-attacky-ness AND it is a full moon. Or it was as of 9:23 p.m. GMT last night. The full moon is no joke and I believe it's power to invoke a crazy situation or two has just been proven, at least in my life. Judging by my friend K's recent blog post, she may agree!

First thing this morning: brought the VW into my dealer to have them tighten up a rattly something or other that they've fixed with ease before. That same exact noise this morning turned out to be a serious need for a power steering pump! And apparently I'm rather lucky I brought it in when I did because the power steering pump could have exploded (not really, but really bad things could have happened resulting in some sort of automotive disaster!). Feeling really lucky about the prospect of handing over my check book when I get my car back sometime in the next 24-36 hours. They also will do my front brakes, something they've been reminding me of the last few times I've been in.

Does the full moon have the power for good, say to help me win tonight's Lotto?

So then...I get into work via the dealer's shuttle driver to find out that the ad I've been working on has a certain similarity to something within another company's current ad campaign. I don't watch TV. I had never even seen the ad in question. Spent rest of morning and afternoon tweaking the ad with our designer. Ad has been finalized, but not without severe anxiety! My heart literally felt like there was an invisible hand clutching it VERY tightly. I don't like that invisible hand, it has quite a grip. I don't want it to return or ever have to shake hands with it!

The calm has returned. I'm hoping it stays. I don't need any more Full Moon Maddness!

How's your day so far? Anything out of the ordinary you'd like to blame on the full moon?

food confessions

This might not be pretty...

I bought a small tub of Cool Whip for strawberry shortcake over the weekend. It was actually Friday, which may help lessen the pointy-ness of judgement fingers. I made two actual shortcakes for desserts and somehow the tub is almost gone. I've been dipping pretzels in it. Chunks of fruit may have been dipped in. And, yeah, I've eaten a spoonful or two. As an aside, I'm not particularly fond of the fact that the English language uses the word "tub" in reference or proximity to any food item.

Guacamole. I've been eating it like it's my job. I make a little batch using only 1/2 an avocado at a time so as to not completely go overboard. But that tend to mean I'm eating it two nights in a row. Avocado is a vegetable and they're actually considered to be good for you, but I still feel like I'm somehow doing something wrong - like just realizing that an actual "serving" is 1/5 the avocado, not 1/2! Oops, my bad. But it's soo good!

I'm getting better about eating the fresh produce I buy. It didn't use to be such a good thing. Every now and then I have to put myself on produce restriction though. I find having an actual plan for what I'm going to do with what I'm buying and when this event will take place. Without the what and when - produce goes bad at my house.

Am I the only one that can eat the same thing for breakfast or dinner repetitively? I'll get on kicks and eat the same thing (English muffin egg & cheese sandwiches, cereal, nachos, quesadillas are a few that come to mind) a few times a week for a while. Maybe that's something that happens to those of us who live alone?! I wouldn't subject a guest or family to the same thing a few times a week.

Butter not margarine

Silk not milk

Heinz is the only company that can make ketchup. I'm serious. I believe I'd be able to taste the difference in a blind ketchup taste test. Take the Ketchup Challenge.

It's been over six months since I quit Diet Coke and I still miss it.

If I ever ate meat again, as many of you already know, I'd be angling for a rack of bbq ribs.

Anyone else have any food confessions they want to make?

Thursday that's really a Friday

This day is a little off, what with the holiday weekend just a few hours away. I've been a day ahead of the calendar all week. "It totally feels like Friday...". The following ought to give you a taste of how the day's going:

I'm operating on very little sleep and becoming an expert at alleviating the toll of sleep deprivation during the work day. The weekend outlook involves sleep. and then maybe a little more sleep.

*****

My feet/shoes decided to rebel against me on the way out of the building for lunch. I went down like a bowling pin. I even did the little spin that sometimes happens when the ball hits the pin just right. Knee is currently developing a ripe bruise. Left hand feels the sting of hitting the river rock-like pavement. Right foot + river rock = abrasion. The only saving grace of the whole deal is that I did not rip my favorite pair of jeans.

*****

On the way to lunch today we discussed the different breads available at restaurants and how it would be fantastic to have a progressive meal that just involved bread. First stop Logan's for yeast rolls. Second stop: Red Lobster for cheddar biscuits (while I've never had them, what could be more fantastic than a baked marriage of cheese and biscuit?!) Third stop: Johnny Carino's for their warm bread and dipping oil. What's curious about this list is that all the restaurants are chains and that the bread is probably the best part of the collected menus. Just saying.

*****

My co-workers and I joked around all day about working on a 4th of July musical called - "Continental Congress - the musical". It was going to be what would spring us from work early. "Gotta go rehearse...." Turns out we didn't have to resort to that. We entertained ourselves most of the day and before you knew it, it was time to go home.

*****

Long weekend! I'm so psyched for three days off. People have been letting off fireworks for days now. I'm sure it will be quite the show on Saturday. I may have to dig out the sparklers. I just realized that this the holiday that celebrates our independence from Great Britain also marks my official independence from the ex. I had never made that connection until now. Very happy to be where I am today. Very happy to be independent! What are you doing to celebrate our Independence?

lost

I don't want to be writing this post about another lost item, but write I must. There's just so much going through my head. In pouring it out, I hope I can process a little, grieve a little and figure out what the heck I'm supposed to do next.

My bike was stolen this morning. Non-bikers may be thinking, "ah, just get another one...". A few years ago I probably would have said the same thing.

I bought the bike - a dark green 1998 Gary Fisher Aquila - used from a local bike shop. I still remember the the way the shop felt on that day, the smell of bike tire rubber and chain grease, the way the dust floated in the sunny/hazy shop and the hand written receipt. My ex was with me. We had grand plans of riding around town. In all honesty, I can only recall one or two bike rides with the ex. That bike and I got close after he began making the kind of choices that would remove him from my life on a permanent basis, something that I have come to see as a gift.

That bike helped me find myself and my own strength and I'm really sad that it's gone.

Summer 2007. I began riding what I thought were ridiculously long rides with my friends T & L. We rode most weekends that summer and wound up our summer of rides with a 68 mile ride through the borroughs of New York City. It was so much fun and something I still talk about today. That bike had been in the City with me, in MY City! I got a flat tire, but we repaired it and kept on riding. I carried it up and down a couple different bridge stairs in order to cross into/out of the different borroughs. It carried me for 68 miles, our longest ride ever.

Summer 2008. My bike and I completed the Give Peace a Tri Triathlon. My first triathlon. While there are lighter/faster bikes, designed specifically for triathlon biking, my bike and I made it work. I'll never have another first triathlon.

Summer 2009. I met a boy who likes to bike as much as I do. That bike played a part in our getting to know each other. We've logged many miles already this summer. Wednesday Evening Rides. Rides to Rockford and back. Rides to the ballpark.

Sigh.

I found a bike that's almost exactly like mine, but it's not mine. I think that's the part I'm having the hardest time with. I want the bike that's been there for me. The bike that had become part of who I am. The bike that helped me find my strength.

I'm still the same girl that got on that bike and rode somewhere worth being, both literally and figuratively. I know that's something that can't be taken away from me, but I'm still sad for the loss of the chromoly representation of where I've been and where I am today.

The 'Rents

My dad is visiting for the weekend. I wasn't sure how long he'd be here and as it turns out he's here until tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've actually seen my dad, let alone spent hours on end with him. The visit is going well, but in terms of having my own space I'm feeling a little boxed in. Just trying to go with the flow on that one, knowing very well it could be years until I see him again. 

I don't know what other people do with their dads, but as long as I can remember, my relationship with my dad has usually always involved some type of project. Give us a purpose and things go well. Friday we had Project Vespa. Yesterday, he helped me get the right wood/screws to replace a warped board on my deck. I got to use my drill and my muscle. We also watched Quadrophenia, which ties directly into Project Vespa. 

Today, I have no idea. I'm feeling the need for some space and time do to my own thing. I think that may come later this afternoon. And now for a bit. He just left to meet my mom for church! They've been divorced for nearly 10 years and have probably seen each other three times in those 10 years. She mentioned to me yesterday on the phone that she'd meet him for church if he was going. I thought it started at 11:00 a.m., they're on summer hours apparently and it started at 10:00 a.m. He left a bit ago, deciding to just go late. I don't even know how that whole reunion's going to go and honestly am grateful I don't have to be involved. 

I love my mom and dad. I do. Their separation/divorce when I was in my 20's was kind of odd and there are probably still parts of it that I'm still coming to terms with all these years later.  I think they're both different people today than when they divorced. Would they ever be able to be friends again? Hard to say. I don't think either of them hate each other, it's just been easier to not see each other. I know that feeling. 

So that's my reflection on the parental units. Happy Sunday morning to you. I'm going to see about something to eat.

Thinking 'bout...

My dad. He's coming to visit.

  

Frances McDormand. It's her birthday today. 

 

Jinx. You owe me a coke. Where did this come from? Wiki knows.

 

Tattoos.

 

The beach. I want to go to there.

 

Laughter

 

How people manage to get into relationships where "wedding bells" are mentioned after only a matter of months (3). really?

 

How I gasped out loud after reading that, sweetney, one of my regular blog reads is getting separated from her husband. I don't even know her in real life, but have been reading/enjoying her blog for a few years. Didn't see it coming, but as a keeper of my own blog, I know how easy it is to only write what you want people to know.

Forking someone's lawn as a late night summer prank.

 

The wonders of text messaging. What did we do before txting?

Electricity. thankful that it's back on. Second outage in four or five days.

What to have for dinner. The ice cream in the freezer that's pretty melty about now might be a good place to start... There were only three bites left. Hardly satisfying. Basically a tease. Now I want more!!

 

Summer!

Summer officially arrived at 1:45 a.m. yesterday, June 21! YAY! And seemingly out of nowhere, the weather finally feels like summer too. Amazing!  

The Good Salad

I picked up this salad recipe from my friend AW. She's made it for many a dinner I've enjoyed with her, the hubby and her kids. We call it the "good salad". It goes well with a simple pasta and some "good bread". It's super easy to make and really delicious for summer!

1 head boston lettuce

mix in some spinach leaves if you're feeling the need for more green or more quantity

1 sm can black olives

1/2 (or more depending on how many you're serving) red pepper sliced into thin strips

1 sm jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained

1 handful(ish) small chunks Cappiello marinated braided mozzarella (It's not cheap, but it's GOOD! You'll want to eat it as a snack!)

Brianna's Asiago Ceasar Salad dressing

Assemble everything in a large salad bowl. Add the dressing and toss to coat the whole salad or serve in smaller bowls and administer dressing individually. I really like it best when the salad is already "dressed" when you serve it.

I wish I had a picture to share! Next time I make it...

Wardrobe Malfunction

...thank God it wasn't akin to Janet Jackson's little situaiton at the Super Bowl a few years back, but it could have been interesting....

Getting dressed this morning, I'm in a hurry and looking to pull together something easy to wear. I grab a black & white tailored sheath dress that I've had for a couple years and a cardigan sweater to shield me from the office A/C.

Done!

Or so I thought!

I'm about to leave the house and all of a sudden the dress feels slightly loose. The zipper down my back had split and was off track. Back exposed! I couldn't move the zipper, save for a couple inches at a time. I was STUCK in my dress, one that I coudn't go anywhere in! The dress zipper and I had it out and I was eventually declared victorious, but only after a good fight. Had to pull something else out of the closet and get dressed all over again. Oi!

Ever had a wardrobe malfunction? What's your go to - gotta get out the door in a hurry work outfit?

100%

My 100th blog post shall be devoted to things that I favor 100%...

Flowers that are hand delivered in the moment.

Bike rides that are long enough, fast enough and full of fun and laughs.

Music that moves me. A few good beats played loudly...what's not to love?

Genuine people.

Laughter. 

Sunshine.

Adventures.

Holding my own as the only girl in a group of biker boys. Apparently, I can shred! :)

Pad Thai.

Artichokes.

Iced Coffee. Unless it spills on the floor upon arriving home after only having had 2 -3 sips.

Toast.

Muscles that I've been working for.

...and a very cute boy who makes me laugh, smile and wonder in amazement at the universe because he's so sweet.

TGIF

Well, well, we've made it to the weekend! Just one final day of work to wind up the week and then it's play time for a couple days! Whomever came up with the weekend concept should be given a medal. Maybe they already have one. I'll have to research that a little bit! Regardless, the fact that it's Friday, with all its weekend fun potential is main reason I'm even contemplating getting out of bed right now. 

Looking forward to a weekend where:

• I sleep in. I may even take a nap or two. (cut me some slack on that one, I'm not even out of bed yet!)

• Where the sun shines and it starts to act a little more like summer than it has the last couple days.

• Where I have at least one iced coffee.

• Where I don't do yard work because it's already done!

• Where I get to hang with my mom for a bit. 

• Where I go to the Local First Street Party.

• Where I may or may not go for a long run.

• Where I may go for another bike ride.

• Where the potential for fun is at an all time high. Could it beat last weekend, which was pretty amazing?! We'll just have to find out! For me, anticipation is a big part of the fun! And who even knows about the things I haven't even imagined yet! YAY!

What's going to make your weekend a fabulous one?

Wow!

Amazement: [n], the feeling that accompanies something extremely surprising.

Do you ever just get blown away by the twists and turns of life? I never could have made up a fictional version of life that touches the way life is unfolding right now.

Never.

A year ago, the life I had been trying to make work and thought I wanted for so long was unraveling (for the final time!) behind the scenes.

Today, more than ever, I know that everything happens for a reason. I am amazed at how incredibly lucky I am for everything that I’ve been through. It’s all been a gift. I’m able to stand where I am at this minute and appreciate the universe’s fine handiwork, apparently set in motion a long time ago. It’s been dark, it’s been light and today I see the true beauty in all of it.

I don’t know what’s on the next page and that’s exciting. Come what may, I’m looking forward to finding out, but in no rush to get to the end of the story. I’m going to savor every minute.

Beauty!

From in front of my mom's place. Amazingly beautiful! 

Automatic for the People

How are you?

Are you fine?

It's so easy to say, "I'm fine," (even when you're not) when someone asks you how you're doing. It's almost an automatic response, especially when the question comes from a store clerk or someone you don't really know that well.

Last night I was out picking up some groceries for the week and had an interesting exchage with my cashier, a young guy who couldn't have been more than 20 years old. He asked me the customary, "how's your day going?". Yesterday was a great day, so I said something like, "I'm having a really great day! How's your day going?" His answer and my response surprised me a little bit - probably the most honest exchange I'd ever had with a store cashier.

Him: Not so great
Me: Oh, because you're working?
Him: No, actually being here is great. It's stuff outside of work.
The minute he said that, I actually saw the pain in his eyes, the pain of whatever he brought into work with him. My heart broke a little.
Me: Dude, I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there!
Him: Thanks.

I can remember being in that sort of pain and trying to hold it together for the outside world, trying to make it seem like everything really was fine. How brave to actually say he wasn't fine to a complete stranger. People are resiliant and can bounce back from whatever pain they're experiencing, whether it's emotional or physical. That's the good news and what makes the great/amazing days even that much better.

My exchange with last night's cashier is going to make me think twice about how I answer "how are you?" Life's been good lately, so the answer is pretty easy. May I be brave enough when it's not to at least say something other than "I'm fine".

Dear LIfe,

...i'm enjoying the people, things and experiences you're bringing into my world. I feel like for the first time in a long time, I've truly let go of what I think "should be". I am just going about the business of living, living in the moment and have been blessed enough to be a girl who realizes she's just where she needs to be. I'm soaking up every minute with enthusiasm. I'm licking the plate and man, does it taste good! I'm incredibly grateful for where I am at this very moment. I'm also grateful for:

...knees that are strong enough for me to keep running (8 miles yesterday!), but still vulnerable enough to be made weak by a cute boy.

...friends who are ridiculously funny, generous and supportive.

...music that keeps me entertained and appreciative of all the creativity around me. How cute is  the video these two kids made? And it's definitely my favorite song of the moment, since I've found a way to include it in this post as well as the last. The Swedes are bringing it!

...gentle reminders of the past. They get easier to accept each time, because I realize how far I've come and how amazingly lucky I am.

...getting stronger every day in every way.

...shoes.

...packages in the mail. Even though if one is not careful, one may end up with a minor flesh wound as a result of opening said package!

...sleeping in and blogging on a Sunday morning. Down time is a good thing! 

Thanks again, Life. I'm digging you and this cool thing we've got going on between us. :-)

Your girl,

*fish

Thinking 'bout It

Had dentist appointment today to find out more about Invisalign. I thought it would be perfect for my not-so-jacked up, but could still use a little help teeth. Turns out I can save about $1000 and spend less time entrenched in the whole teeth-straightening business if I go the braces route. I'm thinking about it. If Gwen Stefani can have braces and still look cool, then I may just have to go for it.

Wondering why I'm having trouble embedding video to blogger. Had a bunch of sweet songs by a singer from Sweden named Lykke Li that I wanted to share with you. Like this song. And this one. And this one. I guess the links will have to do. The video isn't really the important thing anyway - it's the songs.

The movie Away We Go opens in NY & LA this weekend. I wish it was opening here too. I saw the trailer a couple months ago and it made me tear up a little bit. The couple that John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph play seem sweet. Of course I haven't seen the movie yet, but I want the kind of sweet relationship I imagine they have. 

I'm off for another Wednesday Night Bike ride! Been looking forward to it ever since last week!  YAY for bikes and a big group to ride with!

Crush List

A few of my girlfriends and I keep a running Top Five Celebrity Crush list. We share our lists, then discuss the finer points of those on the list, why those who aren't on the list any longer dropped off and so on and so on. We hadn't done our list updates in a while, and somehow this Friday afternoon was the perfect time to share our lists. Here's mine for today:

1. Jason Statham

2. Leonardo DiCaprio

3. Denis Leary

4. Eric Bana

5. Brad Pitt

It's totally 7th grade, but who's on your Celeb Crush List?

night rider

There's nothing like riding bikes with a big group of people, unless it's riding with a big group of people at night! Tonight I met up with the kids on the Wednesday Evening Ride. I'm not sure when they started riding, but I first heard of it last summer. I totally wanted to go last summer, but wasn't sure about just showing up. Ended up meeting up with a friend who's done the ride before and had a blast. Just another cool, kind of underground thing going on in our city!

I think we did about 18 miles total tonight. I'm so going to make it my regular Wednesday night gig. So much fun!!

weekend in review

I aspire to be as gracious a host as my aunt and uncle in Marquette. Enjoyed a great (although short) visit with them this weekend. Need to start having people over more often so I can practice.

*****

Dreams were very vivid. Interesting when people you know talk to you in your dreams. Sigh.

*****

Road trips have a way of making me come up with grand plans. On the way home today, I was planning how I'd re-do my bathroom. Need to get an estimate for that so I can see how to make it a reality. Want new tile on the floor and tub/shower. New sink/counter top. Glass block window to replace the regular window in the shower. I was even thinking how it would be cool to completely remove the existing window and put in a window that's up higher and stretches the width of the tub. 

*****

I tried the McDonald's McCafe Iced Coffee on the road trip. Hello, I've just found my summer drink of choice. It's cheap, delicious and readily available. I was highly tempted to go back to my other drink of choice, diet coke,  just for this road trip, but I chose the iced coffee instead. I'd be curious for a side-by-side comparison about which drink would actually be less bad for me. Would it be the iced coffee with its sugar, caffeine and whole milk or the diet coke with its zero calories and its chemical caffeine goodness? 

*****

Totally digging "Twilight". Can't wait to talk about it with my BC Girls! I'm devouring the pages, and at the same time don't want it to end!

*****

Wondering about fate.

*****

I don't want the long weekend to be over! This is the exact thing I knew would happen in taking the road trip to Marquette. I'd get home and want to stay home for a couple more days just so I could feel like I had a long weekend at home too! Can't have it both ways though. Darn.

Soft and Smooth

You ever lust after a beauty product, but don't purchase it because you think it's out of your price range and you can find something similar at a better price? About a year ago I tried Korres Body Milk in some random beauty store and loved it, but had too many other lotions to justify the $15 price tag. 

I found a whole stash of Korres products marked down at TJ Maxx recently and scooped up the Body Milk and the Shower Gel in Vanilla Cinnamon and another Shower Gel in Bitter Almond. I really like that the Body Milk not only smells amazing, but also actually moisturizes! There are a bunch of scents available across their line - probably something for everyone!

Now that I've tried them, I'm probably going to make Korres a regular part of my moisturizing/cleansing routine. The company doesn't use any synthetic ingredients, which is cool, and seems to have a penchant for making products that are chock full of yummy-smelling natural ingredients. How can you go wrong? 

What's your favorite yummy lotion or shower gel at the moment?

Hey Universe...

I can feel it in the air.
Something is about to happen.
Will it be sooner or later?
Lost my go-to watch,
there's no time like the present.

Looking for it now.
Every smile, joke and communique
piques my curiousity.
Is this it?
The smile and
boyish teasing say yes.
The ring says no.

What's next?
I'm ready to go.
Lessons learned.
Head clear.
Heart open.

This has to be the year.

Dig It! Want It! Shelve It!

Dig It!

• Looking forward to getting things in the mail. Yay for postal treats!
• Starbucks Carmel Macchiato ice cream. Conveniently found in your grocer's freezer.
• Laughing. Being with friends who bring out the funny in everyone.
• Running into people you actually want to see in random spots at random times.
• One Hundered Pushups.

Want It!

• Relaxing pedicure. Need to cover my bruised-from-running toes with a fresh coat of polish.
• Vacation.
• New summer scent. Might pick up something by Philosophy or Dolce & Gabana's Light Blue.
• An assistant.
• New digital SLR camera.

Shelve It!

• Not getting enough sleep.
• Yard work.

bless them change me

There are a handful of people that bring out an instant bad taste in my mouth upon sight. It takes a LOT to reach this level of distaste with me. In every day life, I'm not walking around thinking bad thoughts about these people, but for some reason if my path crosses theirs, it dredges up the lingering residue of hurt that's still within me. 

I saw two of these people - TOGETHER - on my drive home tonight. I mentioned it to my friend I happened to be on the phone with and started talking trash. I managed to stop myself before going all out with the trash talk. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to let anyone hold that kind of space within me, even if it's just a small space at this point. I'm a better person than to cut someone else down just because I was wounded once (mmm, okay, maybe it was more than once...) by someone. 

My best defense is to thank God that I have the awareness that this is not a manner I wish to conduct myself and to say a quick prayer that I know has the power to one day completely relieve me of the hurt that still lingers and sprouts now and then..."Bless them, Change me."

Post Race Ramblings

Happy to report that my knee cooperated and helped me finish my first 25k. It did feel a little suspect around mile 7, but when I slowed down a bit it felt better and I was able to forge ahead 9 more miles to finish the race!

I'm not 100% sure what it was that did the trick with my knee. Probably a combination of all the things I did in order to take care of it - more rest days, cut back on my miles, Tiger Balm, Acupuncture. I know for sure getting that MRI wouldn't have factored into helping in any way!

Coolest moments from the race: 

• Lined up with the mass of humanity (5,529 ran the 25k) in front of DeVos Place before the race started, the clouds unleashed their rain and everyone let out a big cheer. In my mind we were saying "Bring it on! You don't know how hard we've been training or how badly we want to run today, rain's not going to stop us!" 

• Running with my friend AW who has been so great to train with. We pushed each other and kept each other accountable for the last 4 months. So much better than training for and running a big race alone. Grateful that she decided to give distance running a try and enjoys it as much as I do!

• Seeing the leader pack run by us heading back into town with the media truck full of photographers and videographers. Everyone cheered as they went by. 

• Realizing out on O'Brien or Maynard that I wasn't even conscious of the rain anymore. I was just running.

• Turning the corner off Fulton onto Ottawa with the finish line about a 1/4 mile away and seeing my friend CH from work. She'd been having hip trouble about the same time my knee was acting up. Knowing that she had already finished made me run that much harder to my own finish.

• Being able to kick in the reserves and run my hardest and hearing my mom cheer for me just as I was about to cross the finish line.

• Being a part of something so big and that by being a runner, having done this race and having the drive and ambition to continue running I share something that's deep within every other runner.
  

Looking forward to relaxing and giving my sore muscles a break for the next few days, but am also already looking forward to my next race. There's a 1/2 marathon in Chicago in June that AW and I are looking at. For sure I'll run the Grand Rapids 1/2 marathon in October. 

Counting Down

It's come down to about 17 hours until race time! Wow! Want to make four months fly by? Train for a 25 race! I took a half day at work so I could prepare for tomorrow without feeling rushed for time. Here's how I'll spend the next 17 hours:

• Importing new CDs into iTunes so I can make a new play list for tomorrow.
  
• Pick up salad makings. Having a pasta dinner tonight at AW's, so we're carbed up properly!
  
• Watch weather report like a hawk. They're currently saying chance of rain and gusty wind. I'm in denial.
  
• Arrange a few outfits for different weather scenarios.
  
• Attach time tracker to my shoe.
  
• Talk to BLU. Talk to AW at least once or twice after I leave there for dinner to cement our morning plan.
  
• Relax.
  
• Get to sleep early and hope that I can get a good night's sleep. Sleeping the night before a big race is a bit like trying to sleep on Christmas Eve. Excitement!
  
• Get up. Get dressed. Get to race. Pray for a good race. Run. Enjoy the results of my training. 

Lost & (hopefully) Found

There are currently several items that I cannot locate within my house (life!). I'm wondering where these things go and why I haven't found them yet. St. Anthony, this one's for you!

Item #1: Pedometer.
Last memory: standing at my kitchen counter wondering how I'd attach it to myself for the day on Friday - I was wearing a dress with no waistband to attach it to. Have no memory of it beyond that moment.

Prognosis for finding: It's the size of a dental floss container, so size is not working in my favor. We've started a "stepping out" program at work and everyone got pedometers so we can keep track of our steps on a daily basis. There's money involved in a completed step log, so the frustration at not being able to find this little gadget is a bit amplified!

Item #2: Running shorts
Last memory: no distinct memory other than noticing their absence.I couldn't find them for my run on Saturday. I've since done all the laundry in my house and they're still missing.

Prognosis for finding: Good. Seriously, I don't have a habit of leaving clothes in radom places, these have to be somewhere in the house. Somewhere! They have pockets, my only running shorts with pockets. As the weather warms up, that becomes very important!

Item #3: Leggings
Last memory: I wore these on Monday under a dress. Did not see them turn up in the laundry, so I'm considering them MIA.

Prognosis for finding: Good. Again, where could they go? I know I didn't remove them randomly somewhere outside my house, so they have to turn up somewhere!

Have you lost or found anything recently?

*****UPDATE*****

All three items have been found! The pedometer was in the center console of my car. The shorts were in my gym bag. The leggings were folded up in with some shirts in my closet.

Friday afternoon thoughts

The Big Wig entourage from the parent company is in the building today. How will they reward us for not wearing jeans and behaving like grown ups today? Will there be cake? That is my hope. That is the hope of this perpetually sugar-craving non-jean wearing "grown up". There haven't been any cake rumblings yet, so I'm guessing the party in my head is much more fabulous than the real deal.

*****

"Tight spot!" N announced loudly as we pulled into our parking place at lunch. We laughed all the way from the tight spot into the restaurant, where an Eric Nies look alike turned and acknowledge our laughter and the fact that N had moved on to a story about the last time she was hungover and playing golf. I realize this may not be funny to ANY one who reads this, but we continued to laugh throughout lunch and I'm sure it will come up again and we'll laugh like it's the first time we all heard it.

*****

I'm going to attempt to run 8 miles tomorrow. I've been okay this week with two short 4 mile runs so far, I'm a little worried though that 4 is all I'm able to do pain-free. Looking forward to giving 8 a try! Only seven days until race day!

*****

Want to sleep in tomorrow and Sunday. Haven't been sleeping enough. J'ai fatigue!

*****

Another friend is moving out of state for work. Going to miss you A, but hope your move is exactly what you're needing! We must get the girls together before you go!

*****

I got the BEST parking place this morning. My company literallly has acres of parking and depending on when you get in, it can be quite a trek into the building. I lucked out today and got a prime spot. Totally made my morning!

*****

What will make my afternoon? What will make your afternoon?

What's Up Wednesday?

I ran four miles last night and my knee is doing well. Not feeling any extra pain from the run, so that's something!

*****

We have high school job shadows in our building today. We managed to get three in our department and they look so young. They are so young!

******

We've officially reached the point between seasons where it's nearly impossible for me to dress myself in the morning. It's supposed to be near 60 and sunny today, but was about 40 when I finally left the house. Office is also traditionally COLD, so what do you wear? UGH! I ended up in pants that are several sizes too big. The only way I'm managing them is because of the draw-string waist. Feeling like Ed Grimley otherwise. Also wearing short sleeve button up shirt and mid length sleeve v-neck sweater. Transitions are never easy. This morning was even more difficult on only five hours of sleep.

*****

Loving Google maps to see all the places I can't be right now, but wish I was.

*****

Need to get with my mobile phone company about the lack of picture mail functionality on my phone. I'm paying for it and come to find out, it's not working properly!

*****

The Swine Flu situation and the precautions being touted at my company have me shaking my head. There are now gallon jugs of hand sanitizer everywhere. Next to each sink at our coffee stations, the cafeteria, etc. I thought the whole point of hand sanitizer was that you use it when you cannot wash your hands, am I wrong or being less than sanitary by not sanitizing after washing my hands?

They've also posted a sign on the paper towel dispensers in all bathrooms saying "employees must wash hands before returning to work". Okay, I have a few things to say about this one a: shouldn't you already be washing your hands before exiting the bathroom? b: if you are at the paper towel dispenser there's probably a pretty good chance that your hands are wet from already washing them. The sign is preaching to the hand washing choir. It needs to go somewhere that speaks loud and clear to the less than sanitary who are not washing their hands.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about lessening the chances of a pandemic, but somehow hand sanitizer and "wash your hands" signs seem like band aids on a massive head wound. How about some oversight at the massive factory farms where these odd strains of flu are likely developing in the first place?! Just saying.

East vs. West

A friend of mine likes to say there are at least six solutions to every problem. The six might not all be logical solutions, but that's how you get to the one that's going to work for you. I had to excercise the six solution plan yesterday and must say, it seems to work!

My knee remains a problem. I saw my regular doc yesterday and rather than tell me I can run or I should stop running, she ordered an MRI and an X-Ray so that those could tell me whether I should keep running or not. That's all fine and good if you haven't recently switched your health insurance to a high deductible health plan like I did.

Anyone know off the bat what the going rate for an MRI is? Neither do I, but I'm guessing it's a large sum that I'd rather not pay out of pocket at the moment. It's a test that will help determine what's wrong, but I'll still have whatever issue it is that's plaguing my knee, but have to bid adieu to my hard-earned cash.

What to do? Roll the dice, run without knowing? Just give up running and settle into my couch and a deep depression? Run, but modify my routine, maybe sacrifice my 25k aspirations for May 9? Get the MRI and just suck up the cost? Just get an x-ray?

After nearly having a fit of rage at the most unhelpful nature of my insurance company last night - Insurance Dude would NOT tell me their contracted rate with the provider I'd scheduled to have the MRI with, even though they'd get billed for it and would turn around and bill me for it. He would only tell me the "fair and reasonable rate" for the two billing codes my MRI could have been billed as - one was $2,400 and the other $1,600. I was told "fair and reasonable" is the highest price they're willing to pay for a procedure. Because of my high deductible, I might be on the hook for as much as $2,400 for a procedure that's only going to tell me what's wrong?! If I chose to have the MRI, there's no way I'd know how much it would cost until after it was over? That's how it's done in the US!

I'm going to give Eastern medecine a try. I have an appointment scheduled with an accupuncturist. $60 a visit and it may actually help my condition!? I can always reschedule the MRI if it comes down to that, but for now I'm putting my money on the Far East.

Running is still up in the air, but with my race fast approaching, I need to figure that one out! I've run twice in the last week - 8 miles total. With a 15 mile race on the horizon, I should have been doing a long run far beyond that in mileage. So frustrating! I'm just going to suck it up and see what I can do with some help from my needle friends.

Random Rainy Thoughts

Trying not to let the rain and my bum knee get the better of me today. I'm feeling a little down though.

Two weeks to go until Riverbank and my prospects for actually running the race pain free are up in the air. Am exercising caution at this point. Did not do a long run and probably won't attempt to until the race. Just trying to rest and keep up my base at the same time. Frustration! Will see my doctor on Monday to get a proper diagnosis and plan of action.

Would like to eat the entire package of Oreos I just opened today after lunch.

Missing the energy of a big city today. Although I've got a decent life carved out here in GR, can't help but think of what else might be out there for me beyond what I have here.

Bought cute pair of shoes on major clearance today. They look like this, but I didn't get them online. They'll be a perfect shot of color on rainy days like today!

Going to get out of the house again for a bit...

Happy Earth Day!

Leap Year

I've heard this song called "Leap Year", by Maria Taylor on slacker.com or last.fm a couple months ago and it's one of those songs I've listened to over and over again since. I found this fan video on youtube...how can you go wrong with puppies? They are very fitting for the song's lyrics, they will always wait for you!

I will wait for you

Growing love but like water

Time will always slip through

I will wait for you

But please come soon...

I love the lyrics and can relate to the idea of waiting, saying you'll wait, but wanting what's on the other end of the wait so badly.

Is it in a plan

Written in your hand

Believe or understand

Something other than

What are you listening to on repeat these days? What is it about the song that gets to you and makes you want to hear it again and again?

odds and ends

A friend of mine is in the midst of the hiring process at my company. I've been sharing whatever info I hear, letting him know if certain people are in the office so follow up calls can be made, etc. My inner secret agent is digging it.

*****

Missing my pal who recently left Michigan for work in LA. Feeling vicariously transitional and restless.

*****

Just found out the lineup for Lollapalooza. Kings of Leon are playing!! I so want to go! Anyone else in?

*****

Knee is being cranky, and hip has decided to join in. I have 17 days until my race and I'm freaking out about the possibility of not being able to run! Trying to take it easy, but if things don't settle down, I may need to see a professional. Don't want to do any permanent damage.

*****

What's the opposite of odds and ends? Evens and beginnings?

*****

I'm obsessed with spinch salad right now.

*****

Saw Transporter 3 recently. I'm a Jason Statham fan. He's in my top five ever since seeing him as Handsome Rob in The Italian Job.

*****

Wondering when spring will get here and stay here? I actually saw snow flakes this morning. Ridiculous!

Candy

I want candy. Outside of Diet Coke (which I haven't had since Christmas), candy seems to be my nemesis - able to take me down the windy road to the land where teeth wear fuzzy sweaters and suggested serving size is mere comedy.

Darn Easter candy got me. I bought a small bag of jelly beans, with the intention of bringing them to the Easter brunch I attended. The bag someohow opened well before said brunch and jelly beans found their way into my salivating mouth. Blast! Tuesday it was the gift of Peeps from a co-worker. It had been a long time since I'd had them. A fresh batch of Peeps is squishy delishy! We had one package left over on Tuesday, which went to another co-worker. He decided not to eat them yesterday and I thought about them and my chances of luring them over to my desk all afternoon. I resisted.

My will to resist the mighty Peep didn't last long, as my movie night with a friend turned into a candy feast! Pick out what you want! Mmm...okay. Peeps are haunting me now. This time they were classic yellow, but bunny shaped Peeps. Here's what a candy freak I am, I actually debated the finer points of shape - bunny vs. chick (or whatever that's supposed to be!) and how, if at all, it would affect the taste. Becacuse, I reasoned, the classics were soo good, what if the bunnies aren't as tasty? Seriously? Come on! Yes, the bunnies were just as tasty.

I'm currently resisting the stack of left over movie candy in the kitchen. I give it a few hours....good thing I had a giant salad for lunch. Gotta counter balance the sugar somehow!

run, baby, run!

Just about 25 days left in my quest for my first 25k - the Riverbank Run! Only three more long runs! It's pretty crazy to think I've been running on a schedule since December 31 to get ready for this race. Training is going pretty well! I'm feeling good and starting to get excited about race day.

My long run on Saturday went so much better than the week before, when I struggled a little through the middle 4 miles (out of 12ish). We were going to do 13 this week, but got off course a little thanks to A's brother thinking he knew where we were going and how we wanted to get there. All was not lost though.  We did a solid 12 and we did it in under 2 hours. It was probably one of my best runs. Smooth and strong. I hope that's exactly how the race goes. The weather was great too. If everyone can cross their fingers for decent weather (no rain, snow or wind) on race day, it would be greatly appreciated!

I'm trying to eat with the word "wholesome" in mind going into the race. This weekend with Easter candy and crazy baked french toast doesn't count as wholesome. I'm going for premium fuel for my engine. More fresh veggies, more protein, more fruit - the way I should be eating all the time, anyway! Just want to see how my running feels with more of this kind of fuel and less junk fuel.

Oh and this is good news: my hip has somehow repaired itself. I haven't really been feeling it lately, which is amazing! Even after the last few long runs, it's just been a little tight, but I'd say that's pretty normal.

I'm so grateful to have found myself  as a runner. It has helped me become so much stronger, not only physically, but mentally. It's been a major turning point for me in that it's something that's all mine. I run because I can. I run because I love it. I run to be at peace. I run for me.

Love/Hate Friday

Answering K's question of the day: What am I loving and hating today?

Love: That I got out of work a few minutes early.

Hate: That I still have a few projects I needed to do some more work. Brought them home.

Love: Sunny running weather.

Hate: Tomorrow's long run will start early and be chilly.

Love: My new bed! 

Love: How hard I laugh at work every day.

Hate: Smelling like the place I ate my last meal. Qdoba is starting to get on my nerves for this reason.

Love: Spontaneous invitations.

Hate: When I say something I end up regretting. Need to remember to think before speaking.

Love: This.

Hate: Feeling like I'm in a foreign language immersion program sometimes at work with a certain new project.

Love: That I have a job that challenges me. 

Love: Freshly painted nails.

What are you loving or hating today?

Favorite Fresh Veggie

I just want to make a confession. I love asparagus. There. I said it. I feel much better now, like a big, green weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Favorite and easiest way to prepare: rinse, snap off the stalky ends and toss it on the grill pan. I finish it with a little salt and a side of blue cheese dressing for dipping. Delicious!

Summer Lovin'

K's most recent post about swimsuits and a lunchtime trip to Target that included a quick waltz through the gathering summer clothes has me thinking about summer. My most loved things of summer:

Trips to Jersey Junction for ice cream with anyone who is willing and able to eat ice cream with me at a moment's notice.

*****

Cute sun dresses.

*****

Trips out to the beach. I don't think I made a proper beach excursion last year - at all. My beach deficiency must be fixed this summer!

*****

Post beach hair and skin - a little more tan than when you left earlier in the day and definitely a little sandy to prove you earned your tan.

*****
Bike rides. Long or short. I dig being on my bike. Would love to get myself a cruiser bike for more relaxing bike adventures.

*****
Outdoor concerts. Neko Case at Meijer Gardens, I'm talking about you.

*****
Dinner outside with friends where we soak up remaining evening sun and revel in laughter and conversation.

*****
Fresh tomatoes and other fresh produce from my Farmers Market.

*****
Iced decaf hazelnut coffee or my other favorite summer drink "the sandy" - 1/2 iced tea, 1/2 lemonade.

*****
Warm weather and not being required to bundle up.

*****
What are your summer loves?

Weekend Update

Bits and pieces from my weekend:

For a Friday night with no definite plan, it turned out to be a fun night. Got a call from Loveball to join her at the salon for some girl time while "Hair A" (not BCA) did her hair. Totally low key, but just what I needed for Friday night.


My 12-mile run on Saturday was decent enough. Not as easy as last week's 10, but I still managed to log the miles. For whatever reason the middle 4 miles were a struggle. I think the only reason I made it through the last 4 miles was that I knew I was almost done. Such a mental game!


Caught up a bit on season four of Rescue Me. I love how well this show is written, it's funny, interesting and sometimes gut wrenching all at the same time. Plus, it's Denis Leary. What's not to like? Season five apparenly begins soon. I was psyched to see that new episodes will be posted to hulu.com. Who needs cable when you have hulu?!


Saw Sunshine Cleaning yesterday afternoon with M. Turned out to be a little darker and more emotional than I expected. I really enjoyed it though. Good way to spend a gray afternoon. Plus, almost all of the previews before the movie were all good. Will likely spend a good amount of money and time at the movies in the near future.


Still haven't confirmed my suspicion that shadows of my past have come back to teach me another lesson. I'm determined to not repeat things I already learned (too often the hard way!) For now, I'm keeping my eyes open and trying to enjoy what is for what is.


Talked to my friend AP out on the lakeshore! Always nice to catch up with her. In fact, I had a good girlfriend weekend, quite helpful to keep me focused on what is real, what is true and what is important. I'm blessed to have such great girlfriends!


Oh, and I have one word about the new bed: luxury!

This is my brain on random

New bed feels like the amazing beds in our Helsinki hotel a few years back. It's delicious!

Work feels like work today with "who's that?" no longer working on a special project in our area.

Badly in need of a vacation somewhere amazing. I've had one day off in three months.

Just found out this morning that Neko Case will be at Meijer Gardens as part of their summer concert series. In case you're wondering, that's where I'll be on Thursday, July 16.

Met with my jewelry designer yesterday. On the verge of something very cool and very me.

When I get the feeling that people have fallen into wells (AKA: fallen off the face of the earth, not been heard from in a long time), I hope for the best and just try to keep moving. I gave up my job retrieving folks from wells. I used to think I was good at it, until I realized most who go missing don't want to be pulled above ground.

"The next time you say forever, I will punch you in your face. Just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean I didn't mean it." - The Next Time You Say Forever, Neko Case

What am I eating for lunch? And what kind of carb-stravaganza can I rustle up tonight to fuel tomorrow's 12 mile run?

I wonder if I'm on the verge of becoming the crazy cat lady? I've got the "no man" part covered. Just need to pick up a few hundred cats somewhere. Uck. I hate that I just wrote that, but that's my brain on random at this moment.

"How's it feel to want?" It kind of sucks. I strive to be content where I am, with exactly what I've got. I don't want to want anything, but I do. Sometimes so bad that it hurts.

F.

Plan to sleep a LOT this weekend on the new bed. zzzzz......

moving

They say moving is one of life's most stressful events, right up there with death and divorce.

Today in Cubeland, we're moving cubes. I spent the last couple hours packing up my work life from the last two years. It's hard to believe the amount of stuff that can accumulate in such a small space in a short amount of time. I've thrown out a bunch of stuff that I've been hanging on to for whatever reason and now the time is right to pitch it! I like that part. I like the clean slate part, I just don't like the process you have to go through to get to the clean slate. There's some lesson about life in there, I think. Something about the rewards of hard work.

Right now though, it's just a pain. All my stuff is packed, most of it is in the new cube (still in boxes) and I'm waiting for the new cube to be vacated so the computer can make the move. Did I mention I have a pounding headache?

I'm just glad it's only a Cubeland move and not a house move for me. I've been in my house for the last 8 years or so and I can't imagine moving my entire house at this point. I love my house!

weekend recap

Saturday's long run (10.3 miles) went well. I managed to get out before the temperature dropped and things got dreary. The schedule for next week is 12 miles!

Saturday's long run was the highlight of my Saturday. It literally went down hill from there. Spent the better part of Saturday mired in a poor me mindset (somewhere I rarely visit, and I'm not too keen on visiting again!). If you're keeping score at home, the window delivery might actually work! Have friend willing to loan extension ladder. Have another friend who checked the windows and says they'll come out.

In light of my bed situation, I'm literally living/sleeping in my living room! Shall I sing the praises of my couch bed? It's actually quite comfortable and I've slept on it a time or two in the past. It's like having a sleep over at my own house.

Sunday brought a more dreary spot of weather, but a better mindset for me. Got to have a bagel breakfast with M and her kids. They regaled me with stories of seeing The Lion King at the Wharton Center.

Escaped for a bit in the after noon to see Duplicity. It was good, not amazing. Worked perfectly for the afternoon escape though. Made me sort of miss my days as a secret agent. Was thinking of capers that would be fun to stage.

Book club dinner was fab as usual. Always enjoy seeing my book gals! After BC, I met another friend for coffee. We laughed and laughed, which always helps a girl feel better about life!

What was your weekend highlight?

fail

so...i'm not sure if it was the extensive gratitude list i went through in my head today while running the last 2 or so miles of my 10 mile run that turned the day against me. "oh, you have so much to be grateful for, we'll even the score a bit and see how you deal with it."

i was to take delivery on a luxurious new bed this afternoon. guys showed up when they said they would. i'm more than psyched that my dream bed is about to become a reality. the first hiccup, the slat system for the bed frame is one solid piece that won't fit up the stairs. no problem, there's a lesser quality slat system that comes in three pieces. i'll just swap the one piece for that. guys say mattress should fit, no problem, since they're a little flexible. yeah, you guessed it, no dice. turns out the only way i'll ever have a queen bed is if i can figure out a way to remove the windows upstairs. the bed will have to come up through the window. the delivery guys weren't willing to touch the windows, but said if i can figure it out, they'd get the bed inside. where the f*ck is a macgyver when you need one? 

i'm sooo bummed. 

then after running a few errands i decide it would be a good night to rent some dvds. blockbuster didn't agree with me on that one. as i'm walking in the door seeing a giant winding line, the clerks are telling people they can "put items on hold" if they want. i was like, what are the computers down? yep! i walked right back out again. 

so of course what i really want to do is just go to bed and i can't even do that properly because my old bed is in pieces in the basement. *shakes fist* so over it already! why can't i just get what i want?  

a few things

I'm wearing a sweater I may or may not have worn already this week. I don't remember, so if I did wear it, I'm hoping nobody else remembers either.

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They're rearranging cube land and for the next few days until I completely move to another cube, I can see into the IT guy across the hall's cube and vice versa. I feel like I have an audience. I'm sure he's thrilled too!

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I watched this Nova Marathon Challenge DVD from the library last night and it has me thinking about a marathon. There are seven more weeks left until my 25k and I'm thinking I could just keep training and run the whole Grand Rapids Marathon in October. Just a thought after seeing completely sedentary folks train for and finish a marathon in less than 10 months. I'm thinking it might not be out of my grasp. We'll see how I feel after the 25k.

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I can't wait for my new bed to arrive!

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My co-worker keeps talking about Sasquatch Music Festival. Every band I've been listening to recently and then some is playing. Kings! of! Leon! I want to go there! It's Memorial Day weekend. Anyone want to go with me?

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Cannot wait for this movie to come out! It's not until October, but like someone in Cubeland just said, we get to go to the beach between now and then. At least we'll have something nice to do while we're waiting!

run like the wind

There are about seven more weeks until my 25k race! I can't believe it. Training has been going pretty well. I finally feel like I've fully bounced back and am at the level I should be after being sick at the end of February - that was like a month ago already! Wow! 

I'm always amazed when I don't want to run, but do it anyway and it turns out so well. I so did not want to run today. I'm working between two different training schedules and one offers Tuesdays as an optional short run. The other schedule counts Tuesdays as a regular (yet short) run. I had all but made up my mind to skip tonight until I started thinking about how it would probably be more painful to make up the miles tacked on to longer runs later this week than to just run them today. So that's what got me out the door. It was a great little 3 mile work out + hills. Felt energized and hungry afterward! Take that "excuse part" of my brain! 

The sleep part of my brain is winning now. Good night.

hobo

I've heard the word "hobo" popping up in conversation more and more these days. I'm guessing it's related to people's fears about our precarious economic situation. I wasn't sure of the word's roots until reading something a couple days ago - it's shorthand for Homeward Bound. Like back in the day when one might hop a train or hitchhike and say "I'm homeward bound". Apparently all it took was enough of these cats floating around and a new word is born - hobo! (I just looked up hobo on Wiki and apparently there are many differing theories about where the word came from. So draw your own conclusions!)

I just saw this today and apparently candy sales are doing well despite the economy. I can attest to that (say hello to Mike and Ike in my desk drawer!) I can safely say, however, no matter how hard up I get for some sugary satisfaction, I will not EVER grab for some Hobo Beans. They're maple flavored, people! Who in their right mind thought that would ever be okay?! Can you imagine the pitch meeting for them?

"So Hobo Beans will be baked bean flavored jelly beans. Consider it an homage to the days of yore - when people actually ate out of can warmed over a fire. They'll come in a cute tin can with an adorable dog watching its master warm food over a barrel fire. And best part ever - MAPLE is the only flavor they'll come in! I think we've got ourselves a winner. Kids will eat 'em up."

Um, no they won't. This 35 year old kid is disgusted by anything maple flavored. And anyone old enough to have actually eaten out of a can during the Great Depression, probably doesn't have any teeth left or isn't even around for this candy resurgence! I would bet they'd be glad for it!

Soul Mate

From the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, this is the most eloquent and real description of the term "soul mate" I think I've ever read. It made me cry because I know the truth of that which is written:

"He probably was (your soul mate.) Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. Thank God for it. Your problem is you just can't let this one go. It's over. (His) purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that (relationship) that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart so that you HAD to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."

The passage goes on from there about what can happen if we do drop it...it's beautiful!

I'm only about half way through the book and I'm loving it. I got it at the library and think I need to own my own copy. Have you ever heard the saying that books find us when we're supposed to read them? It was my turn to pick the book for my book club and this book was my pick without knowing too much about it other than the synopsis. It was SO the book for me right now. It's amazing. Yay for books and my book club, because otherwise I probably never would have read this wonderful book!

sleep and dreams

I got another good night's sleep last night, more than 7 hours of sleep. Perhaps that's why I had some strange dreams? Or just had enough sleep to be able to remember them. I love remembering my dreams, it's like visiting a whole other world without leaving the comfort of your own bed! Here's a sample from last night:

Working with a few other kids on a giant graffiti piece that covered a wall the size of a semi truck. We were working mostly with black and red. I could feel the spray back in the wind and smell the smell of the paint as it wafted by my nose.

I was part of a group that was going to take part in a police/fire department school. By luck of the draw, I was going to be in the group that went with the fire department. Good thing, since I've already done the police department school in real life!

I was whipped into a frenzy because there were going to be repairs/renovations where I was living in the dream (not my real life house). I was worried about all of my things/the furniture, which appeared to be antique. For some reason my clothes were all over the house - not strewn, but in like three different closets in different parts of the house and I was ranting about how it didn't make sense and made getting dressed a ridiculous affair each morning. Guess there was good reason for the renovation!

Image via Shawn Lovell Metalworks

Do you remember your dreams? Dream in color? Have recurring dreams? So fascinating!! Here's to another good night's sleep later and interesting dreams!

Luck o' the Irish?

Considering the fact that there are mornings I can barely get myself out the door and to work I'm not sure how all this transpired this morning:

up at 6:30 a.m. (actually awake and out of bed)

shower

make up

blow dry hair

put together healthy lunch (included boiling water for mini ravioli that I tossed with pre-made red sauce and grilled asparagus from last night)

iron pants

get dressed in said pants, white v-neck T and a festive green and white cardigan

pull in parking lot at work only mere minutes after 8:00 a.m.

I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that I got an extra hour of sleep last night and that I knew we'd be having another beautiful spring day on this St. Patrick's Day. I'm feeling some good energy!

Tonight, after my run, I'm going to Graydon's Crossings with some friends. It should be quite the scene - not exactly sure I'm feeling it, but we do have a Plan B in case it's out of control.

better mouse trap?

How do you build a better mouse trap? The folks at d-Con think they've done it. I was curious and happen to have a bit of a mouse-travaganza going on at my house, so I thought I'd help them out with some field research. I set two last night, baited with creamy peanut butter. If the mice are able to foil the trap and still eat the peanut butter, as they've done one a previous trap, there's still the offside chance they'll get salmonella! I will check them tonight for the combined yield from last night and all day today.

The fact that I have to actively eradicate another species from my home is painful. I don't like it. But even more I dislike the fact that from time to time I can hear them creeping around in my walls. I haven't seen them like previous invasions. Are they afraid of me? Or just trying to keep it on the D-L? Hello, you're not doing a very good job.

I. Can. Hear. You!

Clearly, they are not familiar with the phrase "quiet as a mouse"! Amateurs!

I'm horrified to imagine how many there might be teeming around in my house.

Cathy vs. Cathy

I've seen this Saturday Night Live Weekend Update clip with Andy Samberg as comic strip character Cathy and Justin Timberlake as her husband Irving a couple times this week and laugh every time. Just want to share the laughs! Although I have a newspaper subscription, I don't read the comics, but I did know who Cathy was so it was that much more funny. I looked up some Cathy cartoons on line and there is liberal use of sweat drops, the frustration squiggle and the confident point!

hot/not

things catching my eye, or making me feel like i want to gouge my own eyes out these days:

hot: cookies of the home made oatmeal chocolate chip variety.

not: facebook. we're not friends right now. we may make up at some point, but i'm not ready yet.

hot: neko case. her song "this tornado loves you" has been going through my head all week.

not: old wounds

hot: the prospect of some extra green in this week's pay check.

not: the prospect of my entire department moving cubes.

hot: sleeping and thinking about getting a new bed.

not: talk that rihanna is back with the "man" who beat her. rihanna, don't give him permission to hit you again by going back. like oprah said, any man who hits you once will hit you again given the chance. and the only chance a guy prone to violence needs is proximity. if you're not in his life, he can't hit you.

hot: grey's anatomy. finished season two and the search is on for season three drama.

not: the weather outside today feels colder than it's been all winter. 21 with a windchill of 11! the wind means business people!

hot: pie from the grand traverse pie company. anything with a cumb topping = delicious.

weekend

it's been a slow weekend by my choice. here's what i have done:

watched almost half of season 2 of Grey's Anatomy.

lounged in pajama pants and blankies while doing so.

slept.

ran 6 miles in the rain.

sprang forward.

baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

ate some of said cookies.

listened to it rain.

ate brunch at Gaia with my friend M.

still smell like the kitchen at Gaia.

laundry.

now debating the finer points of  McDreamy and McSteamy.

will make homemade pizza for dinner.

WTF?

Is there really a difference between being daring and not knowing better? I think there is. Knowing better takes history/level of danger/risk into account. Being daring, looks at the history/danger factor and decides the risk is worth the reward and that the possibility of loss isn’t that great. In other words, you can safely utter and answer the phrase, “what do I have to lose?” If I were more daring and/or didn’t know any better these are things I might do:

Quit my job and start a business catering to high net worth individuals who have more money than time.

Ask the next man who I fancy if he’ll marry me sooner rather than later.

Find a way to get what’s mine without it being traced back to me.

Find a way to go on tour with the Kings of Leon.

Sky dive.

Eat candy all day.

Get a giant visible tattoo.

Tell more people what I really think.

Max out as many credit cards as I can get my hands on.

It's probably a good thing for all involved that I know better/am not that daring. Just saying. What would you do if you didn't know better/were more daring?