29 June 2009


I don't want to be writing this post about another lost item, but write I must. There's just so much going through my head. In pouring it out, I hope I can process a little, grieve a little and figure out what the heck I'm supposed to do next.

My bike was stolen this morning. Non-bikers may be thinking, "ah, just get another one...". A few years ago I probably would have said the same thing.

I bought the bike - a dark green 1998 Gary Fisher Aquila - used from a local bike shop. I still remember the the way the shop felt on that day, the smell of bike tire rubber and chain grease, the way the dust floated in the sunny/hazy shop and the hand written receipt. My ex was with me. We had grand plans of riding around town. In all honesty, I can only recall one or two bike rides with the ex. That bike and I got close after he began making the kind of choices that would remove him from my life on a permanent basis, something that I have come to see as a gift.

That bike helped me find myself and my own strength and I'm really sad that it's gone.

Summer 2007. I began riding what I thought were ridiculously long rides with my friends T & L. We rode most weekends that summer and wound up our summer of rides with a 68 mile ride through the borroughs of New York City. It was so much fun and something I still talk about today. That bike had been in the City with me, in MY City! I got a flat tire, but we repaired it and kept on riding. I carried it up and down a couple different bridge stairs in order to cross into/out of the different borroughs. It carried me for 68 miles, our longest ride ever.

Summer 2008. My bike and I completed the Give Peace a Tri Triathlon. My first triathlon. While there are lighter/faster bikes, designed specifically for triathlon biking, my bike and I made it work. I'll never have another first triathlon.

Summer 2009. I met a boy who likes to bike as much as I do. That bike played a part in our getting to know each other. We've logged many miles already this summer. Wednesday Evening Rides. Rides to Rockford and back. Rides to the ballpark.


I found a bike that's almost exactly like mine, but it's not mine. I think that's the part I'm having the hardest time with. I want the bike that's been there for me. The bike that had become part of who I am. The bike that helped me find my strength.

I'm still the same girl that got on that bike and rode somewhere worth being, both literally and figuratively. I know that's something that can't be taken away from me, but I'm still sad for the loss of the chromoly representation of where I've been and where I am today.

28 June 2009

The 'Rents

My dad is visiting for the weekend. I wasn't sure how long he'd be here and as it turns out he's here until tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've actually seen my dad, let alone spent hours on end with him. The visit is going well, but in terms of having my own space I'm feeling a little boxed in. Just trying to go with the flow on that one, knowing very well it could be years until I see him again. 

I don't know what other people do with their dads, but as long as I can remember, my relationship with my dad has usually always involved some type of project. Give us a purpose and things go well. Friday we had Project Vespa. Yesterday, he helped me get the right wood/screws to replace a warped board on my deck. I got to use my drill and my muscle. We also watched Quadrophenia, which ties directly into Project Vespa. 

Today, I have no idea. I'm feeling the need for some space and time do to my own thing. I think that may come later this afternoon. And now for a bit. He just left to meet my mom for church! They've been divorced for nearly 10 years and have probably seen each other three times in those 10 years. She mentioned to me yesterday on the phone that she'd meet him for church if he was going. I thought it started at 11:00 a.m., they're on summer hours apparently and it started at 10:00 a.m. He left a bit ago, deciding to just go late. I don't even know how that whole reunion's going to go and honestly am grateful I don't have to be involved. 

I love my mom and dad. I do. Their separation/divorce when I was in my 20's was kind of odd and there are probably still parts of it that I'm still coming to terms with all these years later.  I think they're both different people today than when they divorced. Would they ever be able to be friends again? Hard to say. I don't think either of them hate each other, it's just been easier to not see each other. I know that feeling. 

So that's my reflection on the parental units. Happy Sunday morning to you. I'm going to see about something to eat.

23 June 2009

Thinking 'bout...

My dad. He's coming to visit.
Frances McDormand. It's her birthday today. 
Jinx. You owe me a coke. Where did this come from? Wiki knows.
The beach. I want to go to there.
How people manage to get into relationships where "wedding bells" are mentioned after only a matter of months (3). really?
How I gasped out loud after reading that, sweetney, one of my regular blog reads is getting separated from her husband. I don't even know her in real life, but have been reading/enjoying her blog for a few years. Didn't see it coming, but as a keeper of my own blog, I know how easy it is to only write what you want people to know.

Forking someone's lawn as a late night summer prank.
The wonders of text messaging. What did we do before txting?

Electricity. thankful that it's back on. Second outage in four or five days.

What to have for dinner. The ice cream in the freezer that's pretty melty about now might be a good place to start... There were only three bites left. Hardly satisfying. Basically a tease. Now I want more!!

22 June 2009


Summer officially arrived at 1:45 a.m. yesterday, June 21! YAY! And seemingly out of nowhere, the weather finally feels like summer too. Amazing!  

18 June 2009

The Good Salad

I picked up this salad recipe from my friend AW. She's made it for many a dinner I've enjoyed with her, the hubby and her kids. We call it the "good salad". It goes well with a simple pasta and some "good bread". It's super easy to make and really delicious for summer!

1 head boston lettuce
mix in some spinach leaves if you're feeling the need for more green or more quantity
1 sm can black olives
1/2 (or more depending on how many you're serving) red pepper sliced into thin strips
1 sm jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained
1 handful(ish) small chunks Cappiello marinated braided mozzarella (It's not cheap, but it's GOOD! You'll want to eat it as a snack!)
Brianna's Asiago Ceasar Salad dressing

Assemble everything in a large salad bowl. Add the dressing and toss to coat the whole salad or serve in smaller bowls and administer dressing individually. I really like it best when the salad is already "dressed" when you serve it.

I wish I had a picture to share! Next time I make it...

16 June 2009

Wardrobe Malfunction

...thank God it wasn't akin to Janet Jackson's little situaiton at the Super Bowl a few years back, but it could have been interesting....

Getting dressed this morning, I'm in a hurry and looking to pull together something easy to wear. I grab a black & white tailored sheath dress that I've had for a couple years and a cardigan sweater to shield me from the office A/C.


Or so I thought!

I'm about to leave the house and all of a sudden the dress feels slightly loose. The zipper down my back had split and was off track. Back exposed! I couldn't move the zipper, save for a couple inches at a time. I was STUCK in my dress, one that I coudn't go anywhere in! The dress zipper and I had it out and I was eventually declared victorious, but only after a good fight. Had to pull something else out of the closet and get dressed all over again. Oi!

Ever had a wardrobe malfunction? What's your go to - gotta get out the door in a hurry work outfit?

14 June 2009


My 100th blog post shall be devoted to things that I favor 100%...

Flowers that are hand delivered in the moment.

Bike rides that are long enough, fast enough and full of fun and laughs.

Music that moves me. A few good beats played loudly...what's not to love?

Genuine people.




Holding my own as the only girl in a group of biker boys. Apparently, I can shred! :)

Pad Thai.


Iced Coffee. Unless it spills on the floor upon arriving home after only having had 2 -3 sips.


Muscles that I've been working for.

...and a very cute boy who makes me laugh, smile and wonder in amazement at the universe because he's so sweet.

12 June 2009


Well, well, we've made it to the weekend! Just one final day of work to wind up the week and then it's play time for a couple days! Whomever came up with the weekend concept should be given a medal. Maybe they already have one. I'll have to research that a little bit! Regardless, the fact that it's Friday, with all its weekend fun potential is main reason I'm even contemplating getting out of bed right now. 

Looking forward to a weekend where:
  • I sleep in. I may even take a nap or two. (cut me some slack on that one, I'm not even out of bed yet!)
  • Where the sun shines and it starts to act a little more like summer than it has the last couple days.
  • Where I have at least one iced coffee.
  • Where I don't do yard work because it's already done!
  • Where I get to hang with my mom for a bit. 
  • Where I go to the Local First Street Party.
  • Where I may or may not go for a long run.
  • Where I may go for another bike ride.
  • Where the potential for fun is at an all time high. Could it beat last weekend, which was pretty amazing?! We'll just have to find out! For me, anticipation is a big part of the fun! And who even knows about the things I haven't even imagined yet! YAY!
What's going to make your weekend a fabulous one?

10 June 2009


Amazement: [n], the feeling that accompanies something extremely surprising.

Do you ever just get blown away by the twists and turns of life? I never could have made up a fictional version of life that touches the way life is unfolding right now.


A year ago, the life I had been trying to make work and thought I wanted for so long was unraveling (for the final time!) behind the scenes.

Today, more than ever, I know that everything happens for a reason. I am amazed at how incredibly lucky I am for everything that I’ve been through. It’s all been a gift. I’m able to stand where I am at this minute and appreciate the universe’s fine handiwork, apparently set in motion a long time ago. It’s been dark, it’s been light and today I see the true beauty in all of it.

I don’t know what’s on the next page and that’s exciting. Come what may, I’m looking forward to finding out, but in no rush to get to the end of the story. I’m going to savor every minute.

09 June 2009


From in front of my mom's place. Amazingly beautiful! 

08 June 2009

Automatic for the People

How are you?

Are you fine?

It's so easy to say, "I'm fine," (even when you're not) when someone asks you how you're doing. It's almost an automatic response, especially when the question comes from a store clerk or someone you don't really know that well.

Last night I was out picking up some groceries for the week and had an interesting exchage with my cashier, a young guy who couldn't have been more than 20 years old. He asked me the customary, "how's your day going?". Yesterday was a great day, so I said something like, "I'm having a really great day! How's your day going?" His answer and my response surprised me a little bit - probably the most honest exchange I'd ever had with a store cashier.

Him: Not so great
Me: Oh, because you're working?
Him: No, actually being here is great. It's stuff outside of work.
The minute he said that, I actually saw the pain in his eyes, the pain of whatever he brought into work with him. My heart broke a little.
Me: Dude, I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there!
Him: Thanks.

I can remember being in that sort of pain and trying to hold it together for the outside world, trying to make it seem like everything really was fine. How brave to actually say he wasn't fine to a complete stranger. People are resiliant and can bounce back from whatever pain they're experiencing, whether it's emotional or physical. That's the good news and what makes the great/amazing days even that much better.

My exchange with last night's cashier is going to make me think twice about how I answer "how are you?" Life's been good lately, so the answer is pretty easy. May I be brave enough when it's not to at least say something other than "I'm fine".

07 June 2009

Dear LIfe,

...i'm enjoying the people, things and experiences you're bringing into my world. I feel like for the first time in a long time, I've truly let go of what I think "should be". I am just going about the business of living, living in the moment and have been blessed enough to be a girl who realizes she's just where she needs to be. I'm soaking up every minute with enthusiasm. I'm licking the plate and man, does it taste good! I'm incredibly grateful for where I am at this very moment. I'm also grateful for:

...knees that are strong enough for me to keep running (8 miles yesterday!), but still vulnerable enough to be made weak by a cute boy.

...friends who are ridiculously funny, generous and supportive.

...music that keeps me entertained and appreciative of all the creativity around me. How cute is  the video these two kids made? And it's definitely my favorite song of the moment, since I've found a way to include it in this post as well as the last. The Swedes are bringing it!

...gentle reminders of the past. They get easier to accept each time, because I realize how far I've come and how amazingly lucky I am.

...getting stronger every day in every way.


...packages in the mail. Even though if one is not careful, one may end up with a minor flesh wound as a result of opening said package!

...sleeping in and blogging on a Sunday morning. Down time is a good thing! 

Thanks again, Life. I'm digging you and this cool thing we've got going on between us. :-)

Your girl,

03 June 2009

Thinking 'bout It

Had dentist appointment today to find out more about Invisalign. I thought it would be perfect for my not-so-jacked up, but could still use a little help teeth. Turns out I can save about $1000 and spend less time entrenched in the whole teeth-straightening business if I go the braces route. I'm thinking about it. If Gwen Stefani can have braces and still look cool, then I may just have to go for it.

Wondering why I'm having trouble embedding video to blogger. Had a bunch of sweet songs by a singer from Sweden named Lykke Li that I wanted to share with you. Like this song. And this one. And this one. I guess the links will have to do. The video isn't really the important thing anyway - it's the songs.

The movie Away We Go opens in NY & LA this weekend. I wish it was opening here too. I saw the trailer a couple months ago and it made me tear up a little bit. The couple that John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph play seem sweet. Of course I haven't seen the movie yet, but I want the kind of sweet relationship I imagine they have. 

Burt and Verona
I'm off for another Wednesday Night Bike ride! Been looking forward to it ever since last week!  YAY for bikes and a big group to ride with!