04 November 2011

Phantom

I've had this odd feeling for the last 36-48 hours. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like I'm forgetting something. Or that I'm missing out on something or that there's somewhere I'm supposed to be. But I feel like there's another layer to it that I can't quite put my finger on.

I've said a prayer to St. Anthony (patron saint of lost things).

I've carried on my own monologue similar to when Iona in Pretty in Pink is telling Andie about her girlfriend who didn't go to her prom, "Once and a while she gets this terrible feeling, like something is missing. She checks her purse and her keys, she counts her kids, she goes crazy. And then she realizes that nothing is missing. She decided it was side effects from skipping the prom."

I can't even claim that. I went to my prom. That's another story for another time. If you're good, some day I may tell you about it.

What do you do when you can't put your finger on what you're feeling? I talk about it and write about it in hopes that I can reach it. I realized while talking about it with friends at work that the timing of this feeling creeping into my psyche aligns almost perfectly with a schedule that is for the first time in MONTHS quite clear.

Since the beginning of the year my focus was training for RiverBank Run, which was in May. Then I started training for the marathon, which was on October 16. A few weeks before the marathon I scheduled to have a few girlfriends over for an Arbonne get together. That happened last night. For the full week leading up to Halloween, I was busy with costume prep. So now, there's nothing major on the map in foreseeable future and I think that's why I'm feeling squirrely.

This too shall pass. I obviously have a hard time just being still. I might want to dig into that and do some meditation or something.

Om.

Yoga keeps popping into my head too. We talked about classes last night and I had a major "you should start doing yoga again" feeling last week. This "am I missing something?" feeling could be telling me to get quiet, be still and just be for now. Maybe then I'll figure out what it really is. I'll see what I can do to facilitate that this weekend.

What are you doing this weekend?

1 comment:

k said...

I hope to be having quiet time with the family.

I hope your squirrely subsides soon or helps you discover what it is that is making you squirrely.