We're the Ladies

This is one of my all time favorite clips from "Girls." I can totally relate to each character like I could be some sort of an amalgam of all three of them. I know for sure I've said something very similar to Hannah's opening line.

Hannah: "I've never experienced anything like it...I have absolutely no sense of how he really feels about me because when we are together, he's so there and he's so present. And then he disappears for two weeks and doesn't answer any text messages and I feel as though I invented him."

Then the Shoshanna part of me or a friend with a Shosh-like personality will say, you know guys will go out of their way for a woman they're into. If he's not making you a priority or treating you like an option, then he's just not that into you.

Then the Jessa in me says: well, maybe I want to keep him as an option too - why can't I do that? Why does it have to be all traditional and be super serious, and relationship-y? Why can't we just enjoy the moments we are together and then enjoy other moments with other people when we're not.

Well, that Jessa part has never fully settled into my soul because truth be told, it's not really who I am. I'm a relationship lady. I usually fall pretty hard for people and then it's all that person like they're the sun, moon and stars, which makes it pretty difficult to even see (be aware of) other possibilities. Could I do it differently? I'm not sure, but if I had the opportunity to be not so super serious and just date a few people (while being super up front with everyone that that's the program, obvi), it might be an interesting personal experiment.

Maybe it's the area in which I live, but people go from a few dates to being exclusive so soon. Is it like that everywhere? Where and how do people meet all these people they're dating? In real life? Online? In bars? Right?

So ladies, if you are married already, did you date around keeping it casual with guys at any point before getting serious with your now-husbands? Or were you a relationship lady from the get go? Too personal for blog comments? Feel free to drop me a line or comment anonymously!

If you're single, are you a relationship lady or are you dating around? How does it even work? Ha!

So yeah, we're all the ladies.

Take Care

Having a Drake moment today.

Presented Without Comment

“you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn't you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can't make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.” 

― Warsan Shire

XO

Things to love about this song/video:

1) The video is shot on location at Coney Island.
2) The line, "In the darkest night hour. I search through the crowd. Your face is all that I see. I give you everything. Baby love me lights out." When you're in love, you can be in a crowd of people and only see your man, like a spotlight is on him, blurring out the rest of the world. It's one of the best feelings in the world.
3) We don't have forever. Baby, daylight's wasting, you better kiss me before time is run out." We don't have forever - that pretty much sums it up. Taking advantage of every moment to express our love to those we love is so important. It doesn't even have to be the expression of romantic love,  just letting the people in your life (family and friends) know how much they mean to you is so important.

I dare you to only listen to it once. I think it might be impossible to do that, I've been listening to it on repeat since downloading it a bit ago. Goodness!

February 2014 Deals

Inspired by fashion bloggers who post monthly shopping recaps and budget recaps for the month, I've put one of my own together for February. We'll see if I can keep up on keeping track of everything and post in future months. For me, it seems like a fun way to catalog my wardrobe, and hopefully show that you can find some great pieces at a fraction of what they'd retail for. 

I've always loved finding great deals on quality fashions, so what a great idea to keep track of what you find, when and where you find it and how great the deal was. Some bloggers set a monthly shopping budget. I haven't really done that, other than listening to my inner voice saying, don't go too buck wild! I know there are some months where I won't buy anything and others like this month (my birthday month, combined with great winter sales) where I might do a little extra on the "treat yo-self" front. It should also be noted, that I'm a single professional lady without kids, so that might color how much I decide to spend on things.

So what did I find? 

Sandro black and silver crepe dress. Nordstrom Rack. Retail $320. Paid $36.

Joe's Jeans skinny coated black jeans. Nordstrom Rack. Retail $218 . Paid $52

Target faux black leather shift dress. Retail $27.99. Paid $8.38

Target black and white beanie hat. Retail $12. Paid $12.

Patagonia Better Sweater Zip Coat in Whiskey Plum. Patagonia online. Retail $179. Paid $107 *(used birthday money! - update, I ended up returning this after all!)

Patagonia Low Sky Parka in Black. Patagonia online. Retail: $249. Paid $149 

Total Retail: $1005.99 ($826.99 minus the Better Sweater return)

Total Spent: $364.38 ($257.38 minus Better Sweater)

Total Saved: 641.61 ($569.61 minus Better Sweater)

I bought the Sandro dress and the Joe's jeans at the same time. The dress is a great shift to wear over the jeans. The short dress over skinny jeans is a definite wardrobe staple of mine. 

The faux leather dress from Target - the clearance rack. Duh! It feels so much like real leather, it's uncanny. Another reason to feel good about this dress - Saint Laurent did the original for well over $2,000. and this one looks damn good for pennies on that price. I will wear this over skinny jeans and already wore it to my book club dinner last weekend.

Black and white beanie. I have gray and white beanie and mere days before finding this at Target was thinking, "I need to find a replacement for this - it's getting a bit worn out and snagged." If you're like me at all, you wear and wear your favorites until you need to retire them and hopefully find suitable replacements. 

The Patagonia jackets. I know, I bought two! They haven't arrived yet. I was drawn to the black parka first as a replacement for a jacket I've had for a long time who's lining is completely shredded. Then I loved the idea of the Better Sweater jacket. Couldn't decide by looking at them online alone, so I ordered them both (free shipping). I may end up returning one of them, or keeping them both. We shall see. (Yes, ended up returning the Better Sweater. I kept trying it on,  but it wasn't making it into my wardrobe rotation.)

The Ride

Seriously, you guys. Free People has done it again with their latest video. Capturing so much in just 2:43 minutes. It's like they've been inside my brain! Ha! And that music. I mean, really!? Wow! And how much fun would shooting this have been?

Dark Horse

I made a hip hop station recently on Pandora and was surprised that they included Dark Horse by Katy Perry. The fact that it features Juicy J is obviously why. I was also surprised that I liked the song so much. I've never really been a huge Katy Perry fan, I don't dislike her music, I just don't tend to listen with much attention. Anyway, I have been listening to this one a lot the last few days, so thought I'd share it with y'all.

Also upon watching the video, Katy has really NICE teeth! Ha!

What are you listening to?

Notes from The Universe

Do you get daily notes from The Universe? I heard about this email list from my friend S. The notes are usually  personalized just for you, like the one below is for me, and usually they have some great nugget to meditate on for the day. Today's message was particularly great - exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, Universe! Sign up here if you want your own!

Practice, Rachel. Study. Prepare yourself. Think. Act. Face the beasts. Pay the piper whatever dues you think you have to pay. Do the dance, walk the fire, wait in line. Plant the seeds, hoe the field, go to market. Because on the day that you become all that you now dream of becoming... Oh my gosh, there is simply no price that would seem too great. It's going to be that good, you're going to be that happy, and it's going to be for so, so long, Rachel. Guaranteed. Tallyho,     The Universe

When it Rains...

You know how it goes, when one thing goes wrong it seems like there's a parade of other things that follow it. Does this hold true in your world? There's something about it that's both mysterious and somewhat logical, like: okay some sh*t's gonna unravel, because that's life, so why wouldn't it unravel all at the same time? Some things that have unraveled lately include:

Washing Machine. I threw in a load of laundry on Sunday morning. Nothing out of the ordinary, until I went back to throw everything in the dryer. I reached in to pull out a handful of clothes for the dryer and to my surprise what I pulled out was still very wet. Turns out the spin cycle did not spin. Appliance tech came out this morning and told me the time has come for replacement. The transmission is dead. So I'm going washer shopping this evening.

Electric. My house was built in the 1920s. About half of the house has upgraded electrical, probably just enough to be up to code. I'm joking, but it may actually be true. In my mind the stunted electrical in the other half of the house is responsible for light bulbs that burn out ridiculously fast (always the same light fixtures) and a garage door that opens on its own sometimes. While I can usually chalk it up to the character of an old home, recent developments have me thinking it's something that needs to be addressed pronto. My go-to electrician came out and fixed up the problem wiring, so the outlets that just stopped working are now all back on line. A complete re-wire is not in the cards, thankfully!

Car. I love my car. I do! But I fear we're getting to the point in our relationship where I have to say, it's definitely you - your German engineering is getting too costly to keep fixing. I had it in to the shop earlier this week to have the heater looked at. It hadn't been heating up nearly as warm or as quickly as it should this winter. Granted, with the Polar Vortex in effect, it's been an uphill battle to warm up the car. They flushed everything out. I'm still not sure it's fixed though, but it's been about 5 degrees this week. I'm thinking it's time to start looking for another ride while I can still sell this one and get some decent cash out of it. UGH! Getting another car makes me sweat a bit too because my garage is so small. I'm fairly certain all the vehicles I'm drawn too lately are just a tad too big to fit in the garage. Expanding the garage to fit in a new car? Or having to buy a car that's small enough to fit in your garage? Really? That's what my life has come to?

Law of threes also seems to apply here. Thankfully it's all stuff that's fixable/replaceable. Have you had any law of three/when-it-rains-it-pours situations lately? Do share in the comments - hopefully it's all been stuff that's relatively easy to recover from/deal with.

Moments

As the new year approaches (just hours left!) and everyone is publishing their top this or that of 2013 lists, I've been thinking of the top moments that will define 2013 for me when I look back. Here are a few of them:

Travel. I was fortunate enough to travel a bit this year. A girls trip to Chicago with my best girls from high school at the beginning of summer. Then out east twice this year. And the second trip out east at Thanksgiving included a side trip to Turks and Caicos, which was basically a dream come true!

Seeing tons of great live music. At the beginning of the year, I saw Quicksand in Detroit. Laneway Music Festival had its debut this fall and I had the good sense to get myself there to see the National, Sigur Ros, Frightened Rabbit, Matthew Dear and Run the Jewels. If the stage times had been a little more spread out, I would have managed to see Chvrches. Also saw Lord Huron and Alt-J in Chicago this fall. And We Were Promised Jetpacks here in Grand Rapids. Oh, and there was Lamp Light Music Festival mere blocks from my house. That was a whole weekend of house shows. Good stuff! My favorite show of the year would be a toss up between Lord Huron/Alt-J and Laneway. Both blew me away, they we so much fun!

Personal Best Time in the Grand Rapids Half Marathon. After achieving what had been my personal best time in a half marathon in my very first half in 2008, I was happy to have finally surpassed that time after hovering mere minutes behind that time for the last five years! How did that happen? I ran outside nearly all winter training for Riverbank Run 25K then basically switched to biking all summer until I picked up running again at the end of August. Maybe the cross training had something to do with the uptick in time?

SiTE:LAB. I volunteered again (quite a bit) with this great group of folks. An event in the spring. Then I was part of the team that launched an international design ideas competition to gather ideas for what should become of the historic, former natural history museum in my city. Then, hello Blandford Nature Center for a summer event and right into ArtPrize. Loved every minute of volunteering and can't wait to see what's in store for 2014. 

Biking this summer. Yeah, I already mentioned that I biked a bunch this summer up there with my bit about running, but there's more worth mentioning. There's something so satisfying about getting on your bike and being out on two wheels for a few hours. I did a handful of 60 mile round trip rides, and many more 30 milers. Yay for two wheels!

Overall. Looking at my highlight moments, this year boils down to doing the things that feed my spirit. While the activities themselves were part of what made my year a great one, the people I was fortunate enough to have shared time with this year - family and friends-who-feel-like-family made a huge impact on me this year. I'm grateful for everyone and everything that made my year an amazing one!

I hope you've had an awesome year! Here's to even more goodness in 2014. Happy New Year to you and yours!

Post Solstice

Greetings from what seems like the longest winter ever already. How can it be that winter solstice was just on Saturday? I've had feelings of weather-related claustrophobia over the last few days. I'm trying my best to just be in each snowy/icy moment and embrace them for what they are, a chance to slow down and change up my routine. The worst part of the winter weather we've been having, the kind that makes traveling dangerous, is that I feel so isolated from other people. I need to be around people!

What do you do when you're feeling trapped by bad weather?

We were lucky enough in Grand Rapids to get not one, but two icy storms this weekend! I chipped through the ice to freedom Saturday morning. Then again Sunday evening so I'd be able escape to work this morning. While out in the elements yesterday, I enjoyed the smell of fresh doughnuts wafting over from the local bakery. Not that made the tedious chore of snow/ice removal a bit more enjoyable!

I managed to get out on Saturday for a long stretch of errand running that included a nice respite at Rowster for a latte and some Christmas card writing. Sitting in coffee shops has always been one of my favorite things to do. How great is it to be sipping something that warms from the inside out, listening as the constant coffee prep sounds and smells waft through the air? My favorite coffee shop activities include writing and people watching, if I'm not visiting with a friend.

Movies also figure prominently in my life when there's terrible weather. I finally saw "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" this weekend and loved it! Totally cried. It was great!

I've also been getting ready for my brother and my niece to visit the day after Christmas. They'll be staying at my house and I'm pretty excited to host them. Tonight I've been doing laundry, getting their beds ready - I completely rearranged my guest room to make it more cozy for them. In the last year or so the guest room had become something of a catch all room - lots of laundry that never quite seems to make its way either upstairs to the bedroom or downstairs to the laundry and the ironing board and iron always out and ready. I'm thinking the only thing the room needs now is a rug - my entire house is hardwood floors (save for the bathroom and kitchen, which both have tile). Do I dare brave Christmas eve shopping in search of a rug? Heck, I just might if the roads aren't terrible.

So, whatever you've been doing to make it through the season, Happy (late) Solstice and Merry Christmas, a little early. Truth be told, thoughts of that turquoise water and white sand beaches are also helping me get me through.

Pumpkin Lentil Soup

So I mentioned in my last post that I need to up my food game. So in an attempt to do just that, I tried a new recipe that I'd like to share with you! Since the seasonal debut of Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte, it seems like there's pumpkin or pumpkin spice flavored everything, right? Since seeing this recipe in the September issue of Better Homes and Gardens, I've wanted to try it. I doubled the original recipe and made it vegetarian, but if you want to see the original, you can go here. (You have to log into their site to view, FYI.)

Pumpkin Lentil Soup

1 medium or half a medium sweet onion, cut into wedges
2 yellow sweet peppers, seeded and sliced into strips
1 cup lentils, rinsed and well drained
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 Tbsp. grated fresh ginger (this is a rough estimate, as I used a heap)
2 tsp. curry powder
2 tsp. ground cumin
salt (the original recipe only called for salt and pepper as seasoning at the end, and I found it in desperate need of salt, so adding as it cooks is something I'd do next time)
48 oz. vegetable stock (I used a 32 oz box and a regular size can)
1 30 oz. can pumpkin puree

In a stock pot, cook onion, sweet pepper and lentils in oil over medium to high heat for 5 minutes, until onions just start to soften. Stir in ginger, curry powder, cumin, stock and pumpkin puree. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer, covered, for at least 20-30 minutes or until lentils are tender. Season to taste with salt and pepper before serving. Garnish with a sprinkle of nutmeg. Serves 8.

I ended up using a smaller can of vegetable stock in place of the second container of stock pictured. If you are serving a crowd, it would probably be fine to use two boxes. Your soup will just have a bit thinner consistency. 

Getting everything ready. 

Sauteing the onion, pepper and lentils. Make sure you rinse and drain the lentils before adding them to the pan with the onions and peppers. 

Right Now

...Looking forward to one last event with my art crew in the old public museum in my town this weekend .

...Trying to decide between these two dresses from Free People. I'm kind of obsessed with some of their stuff right now. Dress one. (Very bohemian. I tried it on and it's lovely and made me feel all earth mother, but with an edge.) Dress two. (I love the cut and the colors and pretty much everything else about it!) Don't need either of them, but haven't been shopping in a bit, so feel like I can get one as a special treat! Plus, I can get 25% off on ShopBop until the end of the day - they for sure have Dress One.

...I am freezing. Despite being dressed in seasonally appropriate work attire (sweater, wool crop pants and tall boots) it feels like I'm running around in very little. Why it's so difficult to regulate the temperature in our office is beyond me. I wish they'd get it figured out though.

...Am on my lunch, at the desk because despite the fact that it's freezing inside, it's worse outside! Cold and rainy. I need to up my food game and start cooking regularly again.

...Only three more sleeps until my half marathon! I dropped out of training for this race last year and am really happy that my training has come together so I can run it. I've run this particular half three other times and this is the course where I did my marathon, so it's probably my favorite race ever! There's a really good chance for rain, which has me bumming, but I've been doing my runs all week in the rain, so what doesn't kill me will make me stronger and a bit soggier! Ha!

...Thought this was amazing when I read it this morning. How to be Naked.

...I need a true vacation. Isla Mujeres?

...Listening to this remix by Flume and need a dance party STAT!


What are you doing right now?!

"Graceless"

"There's a science to walking through windows..."

 

Last one, because I just saw the National this weekend...and they were even more amazing than the last time I saw them.

"The Fall"

  And this.

I had to find this by way of digging through my youtube archive. Did you know they archive like every video you've watched? Helpful, yes, but also scary.

Whatever.

"Everything's Embarrassing"

Pretty much.

Now: Random

Is there a rom com that tells the story of a girl who likes a guy but he doesn't know it and a different guy who likes her and she doesn't know it?

It's time to do something with my hair. Last time around, I had my gal S do some ombre color and hair cut. The ombre is still hanging out, literally. Maybe needs a refresh, which seems odd because the whole point of ombre is that it looks grown out. Ha! Maybe I try bangs again? Rashida Jones makes them look so cute!

I'm in a huge "get that outta the house" mode. I edited my closet and pulled a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't pull when I changed out my winter clothes for spring. I'm going through every room, every drawer and pulling stuff. I'm building a huge pile of stuff to take to my Goodwill. Feels so good to be clearing things out that I'm not using, that hopefully someone else can. Anyone need a stack of old InStyle mags?

Girls wearing high-waisted short jean shorts. Just stop. They are not cute and nobody needs to see your butt cheeks.

It's hotter than heck on Grand Rapids right now and the humidity is off the chart. And I really want to go for my run, but I don't want to die of heat exhaustion. Getting my miles in before dawn has become a real thing. Much to my surprise, it's actually fun and I've enjoyed getting my miles in and having the rest of my day/evening to do whatever else I want.

This song.

And this one.

Favorite snack for work lately: Smartfood white cheddar popcorn. Apparently it's on a worst snack list of some sort. Whatever.

Have you ever tried brushing your teeth with baking soda? I did recently and it's amazing. While it doesn't exactly taste the best, it does neutralize any taste in your mouth. It's supposed to help whiten your teeth. And the best part is: it makes your teeth feel fresh-from-the-dentist clean. I don't do it all the time, but when I do I brush afterward with my regular Tom's of Maine toothpaste for the fresh minty taste. That pretty much makes me a nerd or something, right?

I finished season two of Homeland last night. Do you watch the show? It's crazy! If you haven't watched it and you need a show, get on it. Seasons one and two are available out there in Internet land and season three starts on TV soon.

That's all I've got. How about you? Tell me something good.

Roshambo: Paper Scissors

This Roshambo video series from Free People is killing me with its beautiful, lovely moments. This is the third video. I posted the first video back in February and have watched it countless times since that post. Here's the second, in case you're curious!

There's so much said about possibilities. About the future. About the past. About love. About adventure. This series captures so much of that visually. The connection. The looks. The touch. The music. The lighting. The cities.

Might go watch again.

Loving Life

I was thinking about life tonight at dinner and how I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. I'm generally just enjoying my life. Just being me. Comfortable in my own skin. All that. Digging on all the goodness in life and soaking it all up. Coming off a holiday weekend doesn't hurt either! Here are few things earning gold stars from me these days:

Tracking through a new album. Just got into Flume. Check it out!

Laughter with friends. The kind when your stomach and smile muscles hurt afterward.

Messy hair, don't care. If my hair isn't air drying, then it's full of sea salt spray and dry shampoo for texture. Totally my hair jam this summer.

A new recipe on repeat. I'm all about pasta, fresh garlic sauteed in olive oil, tons of fresh ground pepper and a touch of fresh grated parmesan these days. So simple and SO good!

Fresh fruit = strawberries. Fresh herb = dill. 

Water. Copious amounts. All day. Well, when I'm not drinking an iced Americano...

Biking. Distance. I did a 60 mile ride on July 4. Another 30 mile ride today. Cannot get enough of the bike lately, which is good because I'm barely running. Change is good, right?!

Black and white. Stripes. I can't stop adding black and white stripes to my wardrobe. I saw an older lady today that was the kind of fashionable older woman I want to be. She had a perfect silver, gray bob and was wearing a chic, black and white stripe dress. Stripes forever. Even her husband was on point, no stripes on him, but he was a dapper dude. 

People who make eye contact and smile when you cross paths with them. Even better are the random strangers who chat with you. I had an older gentleman telling me back-in-the-day stories about East Grand Rapids the other evening when I was at Reeds Lake. We're all sharing time on Earth, why not be friendly? Friendly, yes! Creeper, no!

Cool Whip. Why is it so good? 

Mark Duplass. I first saw him as Dr. Brendan Deslaurier on The Mindy Project, but he's quite the indie film guy. I just saw Safety Not Guaranteed and saw Your Sister's Sister. I need to see more of his work, because I'm pretty much loving everything I've seen so far. 

Making jean shorts. I made a trek to my favorite Goodwill store and scored a couple pairs of jeans for super cheap that I  just knew would make the best jean shorts. Low risk, high reward! They will never top my favorite vintage Levi's jean shorts, but I need to start somewhere if I'm ever going to hand down a pair of favorites to my kids. Ha!  My Levi's used to be my mom's or my dad's. I'm not even sure anymore, but I've had them forever and they were well worn and loved when I got them! Best! 

That's all I've got! What's making you love life these days?

New Summer Slaw

So I've written before about my tendency to become obsessed with a good cole slaw recipe. I think I've found a new one! I peruse Pinterest on the regular for tasty tidbits to try out in my kitchen. I recently pinned this particular recipe (Asian cucumber/Napa cabbage slaw with peanut cilantro dressing). It caught my eye because it looked super simple to make and like it would be refreshing on a warm summer evening. I was right!

I ended up changing it up a bit so feel free to try my recipe or the original linked above.

1 1/2 bags of ready to use shredded slaw mix (cabbage & carrots)
4 small cucumbers (mine were about the size of fat cigars), julienne cut (if you are lucky enough to have a mandolin slicer with a julienne blade, use it!) I just used my sharpest knife to cut match stick size pieces. Leave the skin on.
1/2 cup chopped, roasted, salted peanuts
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/3 cup vegetable or olive oil
Juice of one lime
2 tsp sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 garlic clove, pressed or chopped
splash of rice vinegar
generous amount of cracked black pepper

Assemble slaw mix, cucumbers, cilantro in a large bowl. In a small bowl whisk together oil, lime juice, sugar, salt, garlic powder, garlic, rice vinegar and cracked pepper. Pour dressing over veggies and mix well. When ready to serve, sprinkle peanuts over slaw to garnish. Enjoy!