Goodness on Relationships

If you don't know about Elephant Journal, you should go check it out - great content on "'the mindful life': Organics, Ecofashion, Buddhism, Conscious Consumerism, Education, Arts, Wellness, Adventure." - you know, all the important things in life. Elephant Journal's founder Waylon Lewis does an online show called Walk the Talk. The title suggests it might be all about Tinder, but it's really not, he just starts off there and then gets into some goodness about what good, healthy relationships are all about.

The bottom line in relationships - what I've believed for a long time - it really boils down to two people who are best friends who also happen to be mad attracted to each other who help each other see and become who are really meant to be. Equal Partner. Mirror. Best Friend. Lover. All of that.

We're the Ladies

This is one of my all time favorite clips from "Girls." I can totally relate to each character like I could be some sort of an amalgam of all three of them. I know for sure I've said something very similar to Hannah's opening line.

Hannah: "I've never experienced anything like it...I have absolutely no sense of how he really feels about me because when we are together, he's so there and he's so present. And then he disappears for two weeks and doesn't answer any text messages and I feel as though I invented him."

Then the Shoshanna part of me or a friend with a Shosh-like personality will say, you know guys will go out of their way for a woman they're into. If he's not making you a priority or treating you like an option, then he's just not that into you.

Then the Jessa in me says: well, maybe I want to keep him as an option too - why can't I do that? Why does it have to be all traditional and be super serious, and relationship-y? Why can't we just enjoy the moments we are together and then enjoy other moments with other people when we're not.

Well, that Jessa part has never fully settled into my soul because truth be told, it's not really who I am. I'm a relationship lady. I usually fall pretty hard for people and then it's all that person like they're the sun, moon and stars, which makes it pretty difficult to even see (be aware of) other possibilities. Could I do it differently? I'm not sure, but if I had the opportunity to be not so super serious and just date a few people (while being super up front with everyone that that's the program, obvi), it might be an interesting personal experiment.

Maybe it's the area in which I live, but people go from a few dates to being exclusive so soon. Is it like that everywhere? Where and how do people meet all these people they're dating? In real life? Online? In bars? Right?

So ladies, if you are married already, did you date around keeping it casual with guys at any point before getting serious with your now-husbands? Or were you a relationship lady from the get go? Too personal for blog comments? Feel free to drop me a line or comment anonymously!

If you're single, are you a relationship lady or are you dating around? How does it even work? Ha!

So yeah, we're all the ladies.